Postcard from Warren, Ohio

There's plenty of heart in this tough little town, provided you know where to look.

Warren, Ohio, isn’t rural or urban or suburban.

Smack in the middle of the Mahoning Valley, Warren sits about five miles from Lordstown and 15 miles from Youngstown. Manufacturing tycoons, union thugs, mafia goons, and corrupt muni officials populated a cozy and violent club that dominated the area for decades.

Pro tip: While Crimetown USA ain’t what it used to be, when you’re here you do not want to utter a disparaging word about James Traficant to a fortysomething guy sipping Kessler at the end of the bar. Ever.

The landscape features boarded-up factories, dilapidated houses, and acres of vacant weedy lots. Not everyone understands a place like Warren, but for those of us who have lived in the Rust Belt through the area’s heyday and decline, it’s one of those quirky places that makes us who we are.

Further reading: A Scouting Adventure with Norman Rockwell in the Mahoning Valley

Need proof? Behold an Erin-style tour of this gritty town.

The annual Italian American Festival was underway when we rolled into Warren last month. People were playing bocce. People were eating cavetelli. People were being people.

Roger Ailes is from Warren, but we didn’t see him (probably because he croaked in 2017). Dave Grohl is also a Warrenite. We didn’t see him either (perhaps he was busy fighting Foos), but we did find one woman who had stopped reading her book and was gazing out over this humble burg.

Things in Warren were a bit confusing at first, but we got used to it.

Warren is full of mysterious places and oh how I longed to sneak into the old dilapidated buildings and wander the abandoned halls, snoop though old desk drawers, and peer behind doors left ajar.

But there were vigilant protectors watching over the city’s peaceful streets, so I decided it was best to leave my errant breaking and entering days in the past.

The beautiful Queen Lena wore a pink frock as she waved and glided by her adoring subjects.

Her towering castle took our breath away.

And if you don’t believe in magic, I’ll show you a giant onion floating in the sky.

This old rough-n-tumble industrial town was filled with flowers …

… and a lily pad or two.

We met one little girl who couldn’t see a thing, but she offered her most prized possession to a sad giant just the same.

As the good Warrenites will tell you, it is a Beautiful Whirl’d indeed.

I couldn’t agree more.

Love, Erin

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ps: Why, yes, Queen Lena was part of a parade, and … um … yes, some parade participants were tossing candy. But did we or didn’t we pick any of it up?

Hm …

pss: No, we didn’t collect any until the kids had cleared out.

psss: Well, at least most of the kids.