Finally just read this. It is a magnificent piece and hit me hard, partially due to our somewhat parallel family histories. So glad Lisa mentioned it before we walked or I may never have mentioned my own sobriety. Can’t wait for our next “session.”
Wow! That's a huge unloading my dear friend. You should be proud, not only for your self worth but also for the words you have in your soul to put so eloquently down on paper, or in this case online. It was so wonderful to see you the other nite, you truly look amazing, and you still have your brightly lit smile. Thats not something everybody has! Stay strong, stay focused, it's a beautiful life, embrace it. Love you my Uborkasaláta- Cucumber Girl. Xo
Holding your hand, Erin! 💜 Appreciate your honesty so much...I’ve also had a very challenging couple years and your words resonated with me (As they always do but even more so with this)...Here for ya for support, we all need to walk together as we try to navigate our way through the twist and turns of life! XOXO
Love you Erin. So glad you shared your story, and thank you! I know every person is alone in their own skin and on their own journey, but you are not alone among your friends, loved ones and readers. Your story is one that I’m am positive is familiar to many of us in our own skins and on our own journeys.
Ohhhh. Your honesty reached my dark corners - the places where I believe the voice that tells me it’s better to hide and protect people from myself. Thank you for your writing Erin. It helps give me a kick in the butt to respect all that is me and walk ahead holding the opposites as I go. At least I am out there.
In our family albums we know the future, we see it, we feel it viscerally, years or decades in advance. Poignant photo of you and your brother. Generous of you to share.
For your candor and wit and perspectives, you have been one of my most favorite scribes in all The Land. Today, you are even favoriter. Mad respect, my friend.
I hesitated to comment here but thought "shit...I'm one of those folks that have been around and she went public, so should I. I had north of 26 years continuous sobriety from polysubstance abuse until I decided to revisit my "formative" years by spending roughly 3 years in California and Oregon between 2016-19 among the "Psychedelic Renaissance" community. I like weed and beer. It's not some mysterious psychic conflict. Like the big book of AA says "Alcoholics drink for the effect. Alcohol gives us a sense of ease and comfort we can find nowhere else." I've always been tried to be sensitive to your family history when posting but it's quite likely I found you because of LLV. I know you have objected to the common characterization of LLV being autobiographical and a suicide note and I understand your aversion to "drunk lit" because I also worked in behavioral health for 34 years and loathe the black and white approach taken to the complex issues of addiction and mood disorders. The cliches evoke in me urges to commit hideous acts of violence on speakers and writers for their naivety, not something I'm proud of. I was workin with combat veterans with PTSD when I "went back out", to use AA lingo and psychedelics offer great promise to relieve suffering for a lot of those people so one might argue I had an academic interest in exploring the territory. hehe. (A long time acquaintance, upon hearing my story, said he'd a gladly bought me a beer, I didn't have to spend thousands of dollars going to San Francisco.) Unfortunately, but predictably in our culture, big Pharma has taken hold and there will soon be a ketamine clinic (not a true psychedelic btw) on every corner. I could emote about that little detail too, but I won't. If you finally decide complete abstinence is your best bet I'd recommend finding another woman in recovery and developing a close relationship. Not as easy as it sounds, even in the age of self-disclosure. You will receive overtures from many fine and sincere people in recovery for assistance but unfortunately the gender issue is a sticky dynamic that causes all manner of difficulty in recovery. Tread lightly. One day I'm gonna fly to Buffalo, rent a car, and drive to Cleveland. Then we can talk. Be well.
Finally just read this. It is a magnificent piece and hit me hard, partially due to our somewhat parallel family histories. So glad Lisa mentioned it before we walked or I may never have mentioned my own sobriety. Can’t wait for our next “session.”
Thank you so much for this, Steph.
Holding your hand. Thank you for writing this.
Wow! That's a huge unloading my dear friend. You should be proud, not only for your self worth but also for the words you have in your soul to put so eloquently down on paper, or in this case online. It was so wonderful to see you the other nite, you truly look amazing, and you still have your brightly lit smile. Thats not something everybody has! Stay strong, stay focused, it's a beautiful life, embrace it. Love you my Uborkasaláta- Cucumber Girl. Xo
Holding your hand, Erin! 💜 Appreciate your honesty so much...I’ve also had a very challenging couple years and your words resonated with me (As they always do but even more so with this)...Here for ya for support, we all need to walk together as we try to navigate our way through the twist and turns of life! XOXO
Love you Erin. So glad you shared your story, and thank you! I know every person is alone in their own skin and on their own journey, but you are not alone among your friends, loved ones and readers. Your story is one that I’m am positive is familiar to many of us in our own skins and on our own journeys.
So many emotions stirred up in my head while reading this. Like so many of your other pieces of work, I don’t want the words to end. Xoxo
Ohhhh. Your honesty reached my dark corners - the places where I believe the voice that tells me it’s better to hide and protect people from myself. Thank you for your writing Erin. It helps give me a kick in the butt to respect all that is me and walk ahead holding the opposites as I go. At least I am out there.
In our family albums we know the future, we see it, we feel it viscerally, years or decades in advance. Poignant photo of you and your brother. Generous of you to share.
Oh wow. Well, you know I'd hug you and say something inappropriate if I were there and had I known.
Good on ya for being so vulnerable and risk-taking, and double-good on ya for being this self-aware.
I wish I’d hugged you ten times longer that day I saw you in Blackbird. My heart goes out to you.
For your candor and wit and perspectives, you have been one of my most favorite scribes in all The Land. Today, you are even favoriter. Mad respect, my friend.
I am so happy t find you here. Much love to you and yours.
That description of living in a pinball machine? Perfect. Thank you for writing. Thank you for being here today.
Yesterday was kind of tough. Thanks for the thoughtful comments. They truly help; sometimes a person needs validation.
I hesitated to comment here but thought "shit...I'm one of those folks that have been around and she went public, so should I. I had north of 26 years continuous sobriety from polysubstance abuse until I decided to revisit my "formative" years by spending roughly 3 years in California and Oregon between 2016-19 among the "Psychedelic Renaissance" community. I like weed and beer. It's not some mysterious psychic conflict. Like the big book of AA says "Alcoholics drink for the effect. Alcohol gives us a sense of ease and comfort we can find nowhere else." I've always been tried to be sensitive to your family history when posting but it's quite likely I found you because of LLV. I know you have objected to the common characterization of LLV being autobiographical and a suicide note and I understand your aversion to "drunk lit" because I also worked in behavioral health for 34 years and loathe the black and white approach taken to the complex issues of addiction and mood disorders. The cliches evoke in me urges to commit hideous acts of violence on speakers and writers for their naivety, not something I'm proud of. I was workin with combat veterans with PTSD when I "went back out", to use AA lingo and psychedelics offer great promise to relieve suffering for a lot of those people so one might argue I had an academic interest in exploring the territory. hehe. (A long time acquaintance, upon hearing my story, said he'd a gladly bought me a beer, I didn't have to spend thousands of dollars going to San Francisco.) Unfortunately, but predictably in our culture, big Pharma has taken hold and there will soon be a ketamine clinic (not a true psychedelic btw) on every corner. I could emote about that little detail too, but I won't. If you finally decide complete abstinence is your best bet I'd recommend finding another woman in recovery and developing a close relationship. Not as easy as it sounds, even in the age of self-disclosure. You will receive overtures from many fine and sincere people in recovery for assistance but unfortunately the gender issue is a sticky dynamic that causes all manner of difficulty in recovery. Tread lightly. One day I'm gonna fly to Buffalo, rent a car, and drive to Cleveland. Then we can talk. Be well.